9 Most Redonkdonk Quotes From The New Yorker's Soylent Article.

It is well-known that well-meaning youth have a propensity to find answers for problems that didn't exist. Bastards like Einstein devising the theory of relativity when we were cool with classical mechanics, thanks, or Prince Joffrey simply being, because life wasn't hard enough already. »5/10/14 6:41am5/10/14 6:41am

Obama weaved his fingers together around Putin's waist as the Vespa careened through the narrowing forest path. The trees embraced them with spring buds of velvet leaves whipping softly and ever so closely against their faces. He rested his head on the nape of Putin's neck, covered as it was in blonde down that ran a… »4/18/14 7:14pm4/18/14 7:14pm

Regularized text, rev. 1.

Nákátá let hiz bædy rílaks, swítqd æf híz maınd, ilauwyng ðyngz tu flou þrú him. Ðís wz natqrl fòr hím, simðyng hyd dn evr sins hy wz i tqaıld, wíþ­aut i seknd þæt. Bífor læng ð bor­drz iv híz kæntqesnes flitrd iraund, dcst laık ð btrflaız. By­jænd ðyz bordrz leı i dærk ibís. Oukeı­cnly hiz kæntqesnes wúd flaı ouvr ð… »3/22/14 1:31am3/22/14 1:31am

Blacks move in while Jews and Irish move out, fleeing in sight of dark faces. College Republicans masquerading under the guise of radical liberals roam the streets at night, the decay of the neighborhood reflected in the fading light of dusk, when everything is illuminated in the eyes of God and the city with clear,… »3/02/14 12:30am3/02/14 12:30am

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