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Regularized text, rev. 2.

Sergius Ivanich Koznyshev, wishyñ tu teik i rest frím mentl wrk, went tu stei with hiz brídhr in dhí kíntry, in­sted iv gowyñ ibraid az yucuwl. Ikordyñ tu hiz vyuz kíntry laef wíz prifrríbl tu eny ídhr, and hy had nau kim tu hiz brídhrz haus tu encoi it. Stepan Arkadyevich, with dhí seim símwít sailem ekspreshen with…

Regularized text, rev. 1.

Nákátá let hiz bædy rílaks, swítqd æf híz maınd, ilauwyng ðyngz tu flou þrú him. Ðís wz natqrl fòr hím, simðyng hyd dn evr sins hy wz i tqaıld, wíþ­aut i seknd þæt. Bífor læng ð bor­drz iv híz kæntqesnes flitrd iraund, dcst laık ð btrflaız. By­jænd ðyz bordrz leı i dærk ibís. Oukeı­cnly hiz kæntqesnes wúd flaı ouvr ð…

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Black Messiah.

I am spending so much time on Gawker, that some of my other favorite activities (bread, yoghurt, films) have passed by the wayside. Like Neo in the popular film series "Matrix" (about a worrisome young man so absorbed in computers he begins to envision reality as a program), I've devoted such frightening attention to…

Microsoft facepalm.

The other day I was navigating Microsoft customer service. (The issue, as it turns out, was a complete invention on my part, but that's a story no one needs to hear.) I became frustrated enough to resort to calling the ¡friendly! customer service. The following is the form that routes a call directly to your phone à la